For women with “romantic tendencies” – there are certain things that ring true, at least for many of us – but NOT all. So, if you are a woman reading these “things” and they don’t apply — please don’t be offended.
Remember this is written from a WOMAN’s point of view – notably, MY point of view. So, if you are a man reading these and you wonder if they DO apply to your wife…ask. You might be surprised at the answers you get. Okay – here we go…
Dyed in the Wool Romantics do NOT NEED (NOR WANT):
Expensive jewelry –
or expensive boxes of chocolates (most of the time, a cheap one will do just fine).
WE WOULD RATHER HAVE:
Help with the dishes and clothes (on a consistent basis) –
Daily conversations with you without the computer or blackberry interrupting us-
A moment alone in the bathroom (apart from the time cleaning it).
WE ENJOY and TREASURE:
Calls in the middle of the day, JUST to say “I miss you” –
regular snuggling on the couch (or wherever!) after the kids go to bed-
and finding you’ve filled up our gas tanks – without being asked to do so.
Serving your favorite dinner
Making your laugh-
And seeing that genuine smile you’ve reserved just for us.
Receiving and giving Love letters (on days other than Valentine’s)-
Watching you play with the children-
and Finding just the right gift for you for Christmas
Hearing you ask, ‘how was your day?” instead of “What’s for dinner?”
being part of YOUR world
and YOU being part of ours
And CONTRARY TO POPULAR but misguided BELIEFs:
We do NOT want you to be women. There are plenty of us in the world.
We do NOT like to argue over stupid stuff. It’s one of our least fave things.
We like your corny jokes.
We like that you tease us and like to banter (as long as it doesn’t lead to above mentioned arguing over stupid stuff).
we LOVE it when you even attempt to be romantic, even your romance looks nothing like the things mentioned above. It shows us that you care.
We love your creative side and want to see more of it.
We appreciate the fact that you work so hard for our family.
We appreciate all you do so we don’t have to.
We appreciate your love – even when we aren’t showing it the way WE should.
We don’t have to (nor do we thnk it is wise to) spend every waking moment in your presence – but we don’t want your “leftover” minutes, either. By that time, you are usually too tired to spend any quality time with the family OR we are too tired to spend quality time with you.
We know you notice and find other women attractive. Duh. When you got married, you didn’t go blind, did you? (no offense to anyone who did). And as long as we continue to be the most beautiful woman in your eyes – we don’t mind (too much). Hey…we’re not blind either, ya know. (but make sure you are telling us we’re the most beautiful…Okay?)
And if we do ever get jealous – it’s not something we enjoy. Matter of fact, it makes us sick to the stomach. That’s true for all the women I know. Jealousy is not a crime*…it’s a human emotion. But not one we are very fond of.
This is not an exhaustive list nor an attempt to simplify what is clearly a complex condition. This is not a “why can’t you get a clue?” list of complaints nor is it a “haven’t you gone to pick the flowers yet?” list of accusations. This is merely a well thought out (mostly) essay on the as-of-yet understood brain of a dyed In the wool romantic Female. If it has been helpful, I’m humbled. If not, I’d like to apologize – but can’t. I can no more apologize for my dyed in the wool romantic tendencies than you can apologize for your lack thereof. (I DO apologize if that came out wrong, though. It’s so hard to “hear” inflections via blogspot posts.)
*Let it be noted: Some women (and men), however, do allow jealousy to LEAD to crime. I don’t personally know anyone like that…but I’ve read about them. That is NOT a characteristic of a “dyed in the wool” romantic. That would be more of a “I only care about myself” type of person. (my professional opinion, of course.) ANd that just smacks in the FACE of all things romantic.