why must spiders stalk me?

Here’s the deal: I saw one on the front porch while I was on the phone with a friend. I thought to myself, “Self – that sucker is watching you.He’s probably just waiting on an opportunity to attack you.” Then I stared harder so I could identify him later in case there was an “incident”. I’m pretty sure I saw a tatoo.

Anyway – I stopped watching … and continued my conversation. A few minutes later, I walked back into the house (I had to pass by the spider…he was above me). I sat on the bed and talked for a few minutes. Then I felt something fuzzy and tickly on my hand. I screamed – right into the phone (and into the ear of my unsuspecting and now very startled friend).

YEs. It was THAT spider. I saw his “humans suck” tattoo. It was definitely him. Unless, of course, he was (WAS being the operative word here) in a spider gang that has an agenda to terrorize every human they see. But I’m pretty sure it was him. (I hope the spider gang doesn’t retaliate for spider squishings…)


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