speaking my mind

I’ve been known to say whatever pops into my head. And it usually gets me in BIG trouble. 🙂

I am not a fan of the passive-aggressive/candy-coated approach to solving solutions. I’m persuaded more and more that it is not the right way to deal with hard situations. But I am also convinced that we are to handle situations with the same grace God has afforded us.

That is often easier said than done.

Recently, a situation has occurred that caused my heart to hurt and my blood to boil. I’ve struggled with finding the right balance of speaking my mind and still being kind. My hubby has been sweet enough to listen to me vent. But as I write this post, I am reminded of this verse:

 Luke 6:45 NIV

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

That is a hard pill to swallow. What we say, then, comes from the depths of our heart. So how can we – how can I – speak the truth, yet speak it in love? How can we respond to the things that are bothering us without hurting those around us?

Ephesians 4:29 MSG

Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.

Ouch! How are we supposed to live that out? What about when folks say and do things that hurt us? When they do and say things that make us mad? When they are as inconsiderate as a bull in a china shop?

Only Jesus knows how we should handle each situation. Only HE knows the perfect solution to each imperfect problem. Only HE can give the right answers. When faced with similar situations, he walked in Godly wisdom, built relationships and applied generous amounts of love!

My words are not always said in the perfect manner. And my words aren’t always received as I hope they will be. But I have to be responsible for MY end of the situation…even when it’s hard. 

In other words, I need to do a better job of seeking wisdom from the Perfect Source of wisdom (ya know, Jesus!) before I open my mouth. I need to pray…then listen to His answers…before I send emails. I have to pray for and speak in calm tones – even when I want to scream to the highest mountains.

And in the midst of all this,  have to answer for my own decisions – even when they cause waves among the ranks. 

Life is hard. But God is still good.

How about you?  Have do you tell the truth – the whole truth – in situations even when you know it’s not going to bring about the perfect solution? Or do you usually keep the peace by NOT saying anything at all and stuff it all down, WAY down, inside? Do you keep peace at all costs?

A friend once told me that being a peacemaker doesn’t mean you don’t speak truth – but it does mean you speak it in love…and thus being a vessel of God’s peace.

Ephesians 4:15 (New International Version – UK)

15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.

I’m going to keep this in mind this week as the situation I’m dealing with is getting worked out.  I’m going to focus on the positive and try to speak only that which the Lord directs me to say. After all, I really don’t have to say everything I’m thinking. And obviously, I’ve got a LOT more growing to do…

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13 thoughts on “speaking my mind

  1. Donna, thanks for your visit to my Sharing Life with Lisa blog. I finally had the chance to come over and visit with you. I’m glad that I did. I like your transparency in your walk! That’s so critical to our spiritual growth as well as being a good witness for the Gospel.

    I pray for the Holy Spirit’s leading for you in the situation you are faced with. May His wisdom, strength and GRACE guide you as you handle the situation.

    I look forward to visiting with you again soon. Blessings!

    Lisa

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    1. Hi Lisa! I’m so glad you stopped by. Trasparency is my walk is something I definitely desire- but it’s not always pretty! 🙂

      Thank you for the encouragement. I’m going to add your blog to my blogroll. That way I can hop over there regularly.

      I look forward to “seeing” you here again, soon. Your comment was a lovely surprise and a welcome encouraging word! Merry Christmas! 🙂

      peace,
      Donna

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  2. Good reminder. It is hard to bite your tongue sometimes when someone is being hurtful or rude or when you want to speak the truth and the truth hurts. You just have to try and put it as diplomatically as you can.
    I love “Each word is a gift.” So true.
    Good luck with your situation!

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  3. Donna, I hope and pray that the right words will come to you. I liked your friends words about “being a peacemaker doesn’t mean you don’t speak truth – but it does mean you speak it in love.” That is something I hope I remember when I need to remember it. We all have a lot of growing to do 🙂

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  4. I’m a truth-teller through and through; this characteristic hasn’t always served me and/or others very well, but for the most part, I’d rather live honestly then in retreat. I think my “tell it like it is” approach has been hard on my husband and my children at times. He’s a peacemaker and has refined me a great deal along these lines. Mostly, I want my words, whether written or spoken, to operate from the grace I have tasted because of Jesus Christ. I want him to author my heart and the wellspring therein.

    It’s a daily choice for me to get there… to fill up and then to pour out. Most days, I’m faithful to do so, but when I neglect my time with God, my words operate from a fleshly perspective, and I find myself falling on my sword more often than not.

    One upside to being forthright, when God’s conviction is heavy upon me regarding my choice of “words”, I’m usually very quick to admit it and ask for forgiveness.

    Thanks for visiting the blog. You are always welcome there.

    peace~elaine

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    1. thank you for stopping by, Elaine. 🙂 Lots of wisdom in your comment. Especially this, “…but when I neglect my time with God, my words operate from a fleshly perspective, and I find myself falling on my sword more often than not.”

      I’m right there with ya. 🙂

      You, too, are welcome here anytime!

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  5. The bible teaches that there are times to speak truth in love, and there are times to keep your mouth closed. For me, the key is soaking up enough of God’s wisdom to know which is which.

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