Only by Comparison…

Have you ever thought to yourself, “My kids may not be perfect, but at least they aren’t like ______.” 

Or have you been on the receiving end of that type of judgemental attitude?

If so, keep reading.

A dear friend of mine shared an article with me that another homeschooling mom had shared with her. And now, I share it with you.

http://www.tfths.com/docs/articles/OnlyByComparison.pdf

This is not one of those articles that made me feel good as a homeschooling mom. This is NOT an article that made me pat myself on the back. It made me do the opposite.

The author stepped on my toes and made me examine my heart and attitude.

If you read the whole article, you’ll see that the author is chastising homeschooling moms and dads for “comparison-parenting”.

OUCH.

(btw, the author is also a homeschooling mom.)

I get it…and I’m glad I read the article.

Any parent can get prideful. Any parent can become complacent. Any parent can succumb to the “I know you didn’t really do anything good, but at least you didn’t do anything bad” syndrome.  

The author (Donna Reish) says

 

“Christian parenting should not be about looking, seeming, or feeling better than those around us. It should be about excellence. It should be about high expectations. It should be about pleasing God in our parenting—not others, and certainly not ourselves!”

 

 This article is a good word to parents (homeschooling or not), and everyone else. We can apply the principles to every relationship. In essence, the author urges us to not settle for the absence of bad stuff in our relationships, but rather, to strive for great stuff in them! When we settle for less…everyone loses.  

 

In my role as wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, writer or homeschool teacher, I want to be the best I can be. Yet too many times I settle for less.

When I take inventory of all I have yet to learn, how can I allow myself to be complacent? And when I see all the changes and growth that needs to take place in me, how can I hold on to a prideful attitude?. 

If you get a chance to read the article, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

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9 thoughts on “Only by Comparison…

  1. First of all, great post and article. The author is right on. I get many compliments for my two kiddos and yes, they are good, I admit. But only by comparison, as Reish says.

    What struck me is people give rewards for kids *not doing* bad things. I agree that we need to raise the standards and expectations. We constantly struggle to keep ours high, when society tells us, look, you’re doing okay because little Johnny didn’t pull his sister’s hair.

    So we try. One thing is to live a Christian life. Actions speak louder than words.

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  2. I feel the same about my kiddos…and about my own life. Actions do speak louder than words. We can say we love one another all day long, but if we don’t SHOW it, what good are the words? We can say we want to be obedient and do the right thing…but are we really doing it?

    Thank you for coming back and sharing your thoughts, Vijaya. I don’t know why my blog eats comments sometimes. grrrr!

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  3. Donna,

    What an interesting post. This really got me thinking. I even began to wonder if most gossip isn’t about comparison. Wonder if research would back that up? What do you think?

    Linda A.

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    1. You know, that is probably true, Linda. I’ve not thought of it in that light, but that is a very good point. I don’t know of any research, but I bet there is some out there somewhere! 🙂

      I think gossip is a problem in every culture. It’s one of those things that we all need to guard against.

      Like

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