writing for children

Some Holiday Cheer

Okay folks, it’s that time again…time for Holiday jokes!

Be advised, I am a huge fan of the corny variety. You might want to break out the butter. (see? it’s already started…)  If you are wondering, yes, these are all original. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. 🙂  



Santa to Mrs. Claus: What is the weather report for Christmas Eve, honey? 

Mrs. Claus to Santa: Rain, Dear.

Q: What do you call an elf who likes to hang out in the pantry? 

A: a shelf

NPR (NORTH POLE RADIO) NEWS Special Report: Rudolph decided to go green this year. He is now suing Santa for wrongful termination.

Q: What did one Christmas tree say to another?

A: Where’d you get that FIR coat?

(groan… I know. terrible. Just terrible.)

Something to ponder: When life throws lemons at Santa Claus, does he make Lemonade Slushies or Lemonade Snow cones?

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. They were cornier than a Orville Redenbacher convention! Do you think you can do better? I”m pretty sure you can. Let’s hear ’em! *

*And keep ’em clean, y’all… my kids read this blog!*


20 thoughts on “Some Holiday Cheer

  1. Hi Donna,
    Here’s one for you…

    Q. What’s the latest hot gift to give a handyman for Christmas?
    A. Hot pink handled tools, of course.

    I couldn’t resist sharing this. My husband is an electrician for the school system in our area. Their group is having a gift exchange; many are buying these as gag gifts. We went to Sears to purchase some and they were sold out. No need to despair, they had storage dispensers capped in hot pink for screws, bolts, etc. I’m sure the recipient will be pleased.

    Merry Christmas! Thanks for the fun post. A little HO! HO! HO! humor is great during this busy holiday season.

    Linda A.


  2. Y’alls jokes HAVE to be better than mine! 🙂

    My kids are always making up jokes, and since I need to think like a kid to write about them, this is a good exercise.

    Linda – good idea! my dad would have laughed and used them just like his other tools. Then he would have told everyone why he was using a hot pink handled toolset! 🙂

    Jean – I can’t tell ’em either. Truth be known, I usually don’t “get” ’em until a few minutes after the everyone else! 🙂

    Joyce – please, girl! I think you have tons of jokes or riddles just waiting to pop out!

    For instance — think about Polar bears and snow. What can we do with that one? A few ideas…

    Q: What do you call a Polar Bear in a snow storm?
    A: invisible 🙂 🙂


    Q: What did the Polar bear wear to keep his head and ears warm in the cold?
    A: a polar cap


  3. Donna,

    Glad you enjoyed my humor. Your dad sounds like a good sport with a great sense of humor too! I know it wasn’t laugh out loud funny, but it was the best I could come up with. I imagine these tools were intended for females. Who knows?!

    Merry Christmas!
    Linda A.


    1. HI KELLY! So glad to see you!
      And I think we must have twin brains – ’cause I love that joke! I used one similar on twitter today. Except I crossed a vampire with old man winter. Great minds think alike! 🙂


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