Making your kids cry

*sigh*

Have you ever made your kids cry?

I didn’t mean to.

She was in the wrong.

She was being stubborn.

And I still had to be Mom. I kept insisting on the truth…knowing it hadn’t yet been revealed.

She didn’t  like it. So she cried. A pitiful, moaning, “how can you not believe me?” cry.

I hate for my kiddos to cry. It breaks me deep down inside. And yet – I know, even deeper down, that sometimes their tears are really tears of frustration. Tears of “I want my own way”. Tears of “If I can hold out JUST a little longer than mama can…”

Today, I was holding my ground while entertaining the ever popular thought, “But what if I’m wrong?”

I know my kids better than anyone else… but I’m not God. I don’t know their hearts inside and out. There are times I sit around and question my wisdom…even though I might find out in the end that I was right all along.

And then sometimes I make mistakes in my assumptions and judgements regarding my children’s actions/motivations and realize I shouldn’t have been so hasty. And when those times arise, I apologize.

Today? Well, today ended up being one of those days I was right to hold my ground. It helped that my hubby and I were (and still are) on the same page regarding the issue.

Does it make it any easier?

Not for me. It hurts me when my kiddos hurt…even when they are in the wrong.

Have you had any “brought to tears” moments lately with your children? or maybe you are the one who is brought to tears by things that happen during the course of parenting? Care to share?

*in the end, my sweet youngest dd admitted what she did and why she did it. She had a repentant heart and a sweet demeanor. It was hard watching her cry…but glad I kept waiting for the truth,even through the tears…hers and mine!*

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11 thoughts on “Making your kids cry

  1. Hi Donna,
    I hope lots of young parents respond. You’re doing a great job. Keep praying for God’s guidance and trust your instincts. I love that you apologize when you think you should. I believe in that too! I don’t recall my parents ever apologizing. Perhaps, that’s one improvement I made in my parenting approach.

    Linda A.

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  2. I have been there done that so many times. And yes, it broke my heart but like your child, mine would always confess later and be sorry.

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  3. Tough love. You were right to stand your ground, Donna. Years from now you may realize that you have been instilling in your children a deep desire for them to be truth speakers. It is very hard to be a parent who takes her job seriously. But it is probably one of the most important jobs you have at this moment. Keep on, keeping on.

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  4. Oh so hard when they cry! I’m such a mush, I’m usually crying too. But I’m good at standing my ground, and I’m glad you are too. They need it. (and it kills me when I’m wrong, but I do sincerely apologize and I think they respect that; or are dumbfounded. Sometimes it’s hard to tell.) 🙂

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  5. I wandered back here when reviewing your new posting schedule, and your words brought tears of remembrance to my eyes. I’m not a young mom but an old one now, and three of my children are married with children of their own. I thank God endlessly for the wonderful adults they’ve become… all Christ followers and encouraging their children to be the same.

    Our fourth child died just out of her teens, of a drug overdose. I never could quite reach her and never understood why until after she was gone. She was adopted at birth but we weren’t given her health records to discover she was born with FAS. She was raised the same as our other three, but if I’d known that “her brain was wired differently”, as I was told later, I might have done some things differently, although maybe not.

    I loved [love] all my children equally, was fiercely protective of all of them, and yet I still fell short of being an ideal mother. As parents we look to God for guidance and then do the best we can. I love how you mention crying with your daughter, and apologizing if you discover you’ve been wrong. Thanks for sharing this story.

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    1. Carol…your post breaks my heart and makes me want to hold them just a little longer. *sigh* I can’t imagine what you and your family have gone through. Grief is hard in any case. But when it’s your own baby? I can’t begin to imagine.

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. I wish others could hear it. I know there are probably many, many who are going through the same thing or have gone through it and could use some encouragement or direction. And I bet there are others who have children who are wired differently b/c of the FAS.

      Thank you, again, for sharing this. I am always glad to see your comments here. You make me think…and you remind me to be treat each moment with the utmost of thanks.

      *hugs*
      Donna

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