Do you remember the 70’s movie, “Love Story”?
At one point in the tumultuous story, Ali McGraw (the leading lady) says, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” And then later, AFTER SHE DIES, Ryan O’Neal (the grieving leading man) repeats the statement. And with that, the movie ends.
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
This, my dear friends, is the definition of HOGWASH. The lot of it. COMPLETE HOGWASH.
Why am I bringing this up now?
Interestingly enough, Ryan O’Neal made another movie in 1972 called “What’s Up Doc” witih Barbara Streisand. When Barbara says, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry“, O’Neal replies, “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.”
Don’t get me wrong, I think you can interpret the “never having to say you’re sorry” bit as something worthwhile. Maybe it means you treat another person with as much respect and love as possible and therefore never have anything that needs to be apologized for.
Yeah. Like anyone can live up to that hype!
We all do things that end up hurting others. Our words and actions leave gaping holes in our relationships. Admitting our faults and making amends (yes, that means apologizing!) helps in the healing process and draws us closer.
But what if we never try to bridge those gaps – what happens?
We end up with relationships separated by canyons.
There will be times when words aren’t necessary. But more often than not, admitting we’ve hurt someone and trying to make things better is a good thing.
For me, though, claiming the “if you love me, I shouldn’t have to apologize” rule is a selfish rule at best. And at the worst, it is self destructive.
So what do you think of that old movie line? Truth? Or Hogwash?
*for further reading and opinions, check out these posts by other bloggers:
http://mainstreetmom.com/marr/say_sorry.htm (EXCELLENT ARTICLE!)