Today’s guest blogger is my dear friend, Kristi M! She is a mom, writer and fellow ASU grad. Without further ado — enjoy!
As I prepare to apply for a part-time position in a field I believe benefits people and the environment, I am reminded of my ongoing struggle with self-worth as a mother. Once a successful career woman working 50 hours a week and traveling between two cities to do it, now the mother of two little ones, the transition caused a lengthy bout of lifestyle shock.
When my first child was born, I still called in to work and answered emails just to help them out with the transition. But after a couple of months, the phone hardly rang, the emails went down from 30 a day to just a trickle. I realize now that I mourned the loss of my job, the feeling of being needed in the workplace. Don’t get me wrong, I was certainly needed by a newborn, but they were very different kind of needs. I liked being the one with all the answers, not just “the one with the lactating boobs”.
It took me quite a while to get into a routine at home, but despite this and missing my job, I knew that this was what we wanted for our kids. After the first few months of motherhood, I struggled with my self-worth when strangers would ask, “And what do you do?” Then my second child came along and ‘whew’, I could “pass” for another year. I think the enormous pressure on women from both sides creates a never-ending cycle of guilt: “If I work, does that make me a bad mom?” and “If I stay home,is the perception that I’m lazy?”
Getting over this took me a while, and is still a struggle in small doses sometimes. But by investing my time with my children, to love them and educate them while they are young, as well as volunteering in my church, my garden and causes I believe in, I no longer felt ashamed of my choice. Whatever your decision, know that women struggle on both sides of the fence, that there is green grass in patches on both sides. Make the choice that is right for your family and don’t sweat the rest.
Head over to http://southernasbiscuits.blogspot.com/ for more of Kristi’s wit and wisdom. And leave her some encouragement here b/c I want her to come back and be a guest blogger for me again!